No matter how gentle the slope or how well manicured the neighborhood, every hill in this city feels like violence at speed, more the geologic time that formed it rather than the civilized society that trapped portions of it under tarmac and concrete.
You won’t go from pillar to post every day, so you try to get things done while it’s still even if you don’t feel still. Make the calls, carry out the stretches, mutter under your breath and mark it a midweek.
I kept looking out the window on my way back from the neighborhood with my cab crawling through afternoon traffic and the sights slowly taking on significance with each lurch and rattle soundtracked by last year’s pop-radio hits.
We’ll see if this is the start of something or not. It’ll probably take a few days to sort itself out. If I’m careful with the calendar and conscientious about the things I need to finish, something will come of it. I shouldn’t be coming with days, but a day like today will make that happen.
Coming back to one of the old neighborhoods is no longer a nostalgic exercise. It’s more abstract, and oddly more sensitive to other nuances. This is what the People Who Live Here Now are like; I don’t think I was like them even when I was still here. They’re not so different from me, except for the obvious ways. They’re committed to the bit. While visiting, I asked how I was, if I ever was. I think maybe I found a new bit, or a different stage, or both. Still me, though?
I wanted to be out in the world, but I needed to stay put and bug the cat and rest and read, so that’s what I did. I put in a little time on guitar, but not long enough to be silly about it, changing one from open D to DADGAD tuning. Tomorrow: more time off, and let’s see what that brings.
A bit eye opening to look down a mostly empty street and see folks riding all kinds of bicycles against a vehicle heavy backdrop at the right hour of the day.
I don’t know if I’m going to keep up getting up a half hour earlier than usual on Wednesdays, but it’s made getting in on time more fun and interesting. Figuring out getting where I need to be becomes weirder with every street empty and dark and often either about to rain or just done. Some are pretty much autopilot, and some are no pilot.
My relationship to the ballot has changed over time. It’s taken on more weight, even early in the year with the primary process, and so many other people apparently tuned out or mailing it in. Also, I didn’t expect to see people on it that I’d known, gotten emails from or even met in person.
Stretch and breathe and master yourself, because getting out of breath and bent out of shape won’t help you help others. Of course, I say it to remind myself. Of course, I’m going to forget.
