Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica
"[...] I love what we're doing, but I'm getting confused. I'm having a hard time telling the truth where the truth ends and the play-acting begins. Sometimes we act like a regular couple and do normal couple-y things; sometimes we have really fun, playful sex. And then sometimes we get into this other thing. [...]"
Andy Ohio's "Tied Down"

So, like, what's up with that other thing? More to the point: Were you in a playful mood the last time you had sex with someone?

I'm not talking about "playful" as in "kittenish," much less "monkeying" or "horsing" around. (Save your human/animal roleplay jokes for now, m'kay?)

I'm talking about the state of mind that has to do with gleeful improvisation, glistening wetness and gleaming smiles, glowing pleasure in the moment and getting a grip on (or getting gripped by) a willing partner.



The latest book to remind me of that delightful state, that pleasant periphery in which ludic languor lives, is Rachel Kramer Bussel's anthology of short stories. (Full disclosure: I received a review copy in exchange for a promise to write a review and post it to the book's Amazon.com listing.)

Each story is not just a rude and randy recitation of body-part motion-capture that one might plot on a graph with as little difficulty as one might play buzzword bingo with nearly any politician's boilerplate address.

It's also not just a collection of completely unlikely or implausible scenarios (airplane bathrooms, department-store dressing rooms, college classrooms, graveyards, etc.). It's called wishful thinking, not fantastic (in that other sense of the word) thinking. Maybe it's just my own imagination, but situations where a few words gone awry result in a gauntlet thrown down and then taken up sound not just likely, but like good ideas (as in Thomas S. Roche's "Pre-Party" and Kramer Bussel's own "The Depths of Despair").

It's why I'm willing to go along with Shanna Germain's "Perfect Bound" with its library-look protagonist, bookstore-cum-flytrap setting and delightfully unexpected uses for certain old-school office supplies, or Alison Tyler's "Betty Crocker Gone Bad," which turns a domestic quirk into the kind of escapade that might get left on a cable-cooking-show cutting-room floor, or Madeline Glass' "Laser Tag," which makes the best out of bad behavior at a concert and the resulting cute-meat meet-cute.

By the time you've dropped in on the grownups-go-back-to-high-school scenario of Madlyn March's "Reunion," the barn settings (yes, if you must, perhaps now's the time for your roleplay jokes) of Thomas Christopher's "Riding the Storm" and L. Elise Bland's "The Breeding Barn," you're probably several turns of the screw into certain physical symptoms that result from the consumption of well-written erotica. You probably won't even mind the workplace-turnabout triptych of Fiona Locke's "Pink Cheeks," Laura Bacchi's "Page By Page" and Simon Sheppard's "Fiscal Discipline."

Make a point of checking this book out wherever you get your hands on it, and you'll soon concur that the only thing better than bending over a well-told tale is, well, bending over a well-toiled-over tail.

From far and wide

Flags at the Ontario Lacrosse Hall of Fame It's Canada Day! Do I like Canada? I like Canada.

Do you like Canada? You should, you know. I hadn't planned on visiting at least once a year for the last four years, but it's grown on me quite a bit.

Actually, I blame the people. If people like Rannie, Neil, Gord, James, Sameer and Laina had fallen in with you, then you'd understand. If you'd fallen in with people like Cecily, then, well, it'd be self-evident.

They're the country's real natural resources, softwoods and tar sands notwithstanding.

(Update: C. points me to Queen of Spain.)

I read descriptions for all 736 proposed panels at next year's South by Southwest Interactive Conference. Here are at least six dozen and half a dozen more that deserve either five-star or four-star ratings. That means any one would either justify my trip or I will definitely attend them. (This is not to slight any of the other ideas, which include at least six dozen three-star-worthies -- and, hey, you knew I've got a panel proposal you can vote for, right?)

What's that matter? Well, if you like them too, you have less than nine hours -- until 11:59 p.m. EDT today (Sept. 21, 2007) -- to open an account and vote for them at the 2008 SXSW Interactive Panel Picker. O click and see!

Kevin's the man.

The Rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.
5. 8 is a magic number. Not three.

001 >> I went to last night's performance.

002 >> Blame it on Kevin Smokler.

003 >> He's gotten me into scrapes like this before.

Seven years

It seems like forever, and that's a mighty long time. The nice thing is I know exactly how the time slipped away. I haven't said it in a while, but thank you for reading.

[...] Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois, Democratic candidate for president, is the talk of this village because recently unearthed records indicate that he is a son of Moneygall.

Stephen Neill, a local Anglican rector, said church documents he has found, along with census, immigration and other records tracked down by U.S. genealogists, appear to show that Obama's great-great-great-grandfather, Fulmuth Kearney, was reared in Moneygall, then left for America in 1850, when he was 19. [...]

Mary Jordan's Washington Post article "Tiny Irish Village Is Latest Place to Claim Obama as Its Own" sent me back with a smile to Salon.com's "A Hibernian in the woodpile."

Halberstam

[...] In the last 10 years, the people who have been rewarded with the highest salaries have been awarded for doing the most trivial work: the male and female divas, the people who are so good at artificial empathy. And when you start doing celebrity and scandal and sex, not only is it bad of itself, it affects the larger populace.

They're doing this because they're getting signals from those great patriots who poll the American people to find out what the American people want to know. They find out that the American people want to be entertained and they send back signals to do fluffier, warmer, more endearing reporting. As that happens, the national debate gets more trivial. Foreign policy gets played down. The rest of the world becomes a place we don't need to know about. [...]

David Halberstam in Suzy Hansen's Salon.com article "Why America Napped," October 1, 2001

Good mood, mostly. A lot of bending and lifting and putting things on the bed behind me, a little paper towel and organic non-toxic biodegradable cleaner action et voilà! A little wiping off of the CD radio cassette-corder, a hand-me-down from my bandmate. Hmm, let's see what a friend sent me in instant-messenger window while I was away from my desk. And I'm listening to "Before Today" from Everything But The Girl's "Walking Wounded." No. Scratch that. I'm really just sort of hitting repeat on it and partying like it's 1996. Return with me now to t.t.d.o.y., just before this thing of ours began. Or don't. Blame Brad if you want. I'm thanking him tonight. Twitter's great, but I need the reminder that it's not the first place I can answer that question.

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